By Lainey Veltri
Are you hurting from betrayal or rejection? I know how painful that feels because it’s happened to me more than a few times by someone I loved dearly and repeatedly forgave while he tried to get it right but just couldn’t. Next to grief after the death of a loved one, I think betrayal and rejection rank among the worst things you can experience emotionally as a human being. It destroys your self-esteem, self-worth and dreams.
It hurts more than words can explain. But I believe those who’ve been betrayed or rejected are chosen for a greater purpose because of their strength and resilience. You may not believe it now while in the throes of gut-wrenching pain, but you are stronger than you think and what you are going through may just bring hope and comfort to someone later if you decide to share your heart. Your circumstance is not meant to sink you but to sanctify you.
It is written in the Word that the Heavenly Father is “the God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles, so that we can comfort those in ANY trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (2 Corinthians 1:3).” I think our Creator allows the storms of life so as not to drown us but to elevate us to a place where we can help pull others up out of the raging waters. While He comforts us in our affliction, we can then comfort another hurting person also afflicted.
Hear me: I’m not saying God causes these storms, but I think He allows them because He knows you can endure, persevere and ultimately use what you’ve learned to serve a greater purpose. My ex-husband’s betrayal and rejection taught me to lean on God and trust Him to get me through it. On those days and nights when I cried out to Him to take away the pain and sadness, He encouraged me to draw closer to Him and reminded me that the Savior of the world too was betrayed and rejected by those who also loved Him dearly. And yet He forgave and went to his death on a cross to secure our place in eternity.
Our Creator isn’t asking us to commit to such a magnificent sacrifice. Instead, He invites us to trust Him to comfort us while we walk through the grief. And in doing so, we can extend that same grace to someone struggling in the aftermath of betrayal, rejection or loss of a relationship.
It’s far from easy to walk this road. I’ve stumbled often. I’ve hit roadblocks. I’ve desperately searched for detours. I’ve encountered potholes of self-pity so deep that I wondered whether I could ever climb out of them. And I’ve cried enough tears to fill up a rain barrel three times over. But despite how rough the journey has been and still is at times, I’ve managed to press on.
Heartache is part of the human condition. Most of us have or will dabble in it at some point. Many are or will get stuck on the way through it. And a few have lost or will lose faith while on the journey. I know because I’ve met all those conditions.
What have I learned through this journey? I’ve learned:
· Hurt people hurt people.
· People can change their minds.
· Love and loyalty are a choice.
· Some people are simply unable to empathize.
· Some people fall in love with a version of the person they thought they could become.
· For some, a marriage matters not to the “other woman.”
· For too many, sex is not held sacred.
· People aren’t responsible for making us happy.
· People leave.
· And some people hang on for way too long.
I held on for way too long. And for that mistake, I lost ground. But taking time to reflect in solitude, endless conversations with the Creator and heart-felt prayers ultimately led me to my authentic self. And there I found my footing once again.
And perhaps the biggest lesson is still yet to be learned. Because we know that in “all things God works for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).” What good could ever come from such heartache and pain?
Maybe, just maybe, rejection is God’s protection from something far more sinister than being betrayed or rejected. And quite possibly, the good Lord has a plan to use this storm of life to anoint you and thrust you into a greater purpose: to serve Him by serving others.
Are you hurting from being betrayed or rejected? I can relate. Let’s talk.